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Mar 17, 2008

Doomsday (Dumbsday?)

Well I went and saw the apocalyptic action film Doomsday over the weekend and learned some very interesting things. Before I go into the detail a quick overview is in order for those of you who have not seen the film.

The year is 2038. Thirty years prior, a killer virus breaks out in Scotland. The virus involves lots of bleeding and throwing up, and its deadly. So, the authorities decide to quarantine the entire country of Scotland. They erect a wall, mine the ocean, setup a no fly zone, no one gets out. Back to the present(future), it looks like the virus has returned in London this time. However, the authorities have noticed that there are a few survivors in Scotland. So they decide to send in the hottest babe they can find (played by Rhona Mitra, and she is hot) to unravel the mystery of the survivors and bring back a cure.

Here is what I learned about humanity after an apocalyptic event:

  1. The most likely people to survive a killer virus are hair stylists and tattoo artists. Cause in the post apocalypse, everyone has a punk hairdo, lots of tattoos, and look like extras from the Road Warrior.
  2. You can survive for 30 years as cannibals. I guess man jerky must keep better than beef jerky.
  3. Even though ancient castles were designed to hold 20 to 30 people of an average size of 5' 6", if you try hard, you can get at least 200 or 300 people in one, and still have room for a Gladiatorial Arena! Humans can accomplish anything if they put their mind to it.
  4. Livestock will be free to multiply like crazy. Since no farmers survive, everyone forgets how to grow crops and raise animals. See 1 and 2 above.

Here is what I learned about the future:

  1. We will soon lose the ability to make night vision goggles. Cause they send the heroine into an area without electricity in the middle of the night, without any.
  2. We will also soon forget how to make bullet proof glass. Cause the armored personnel carrier in the film has its windows broken out with simple pipes and arrows.
  3. Unmanned drones will also become a thing of the past. The only intel available in 2038 is from satellite photos.
  4. Cell phone networks will not change at all, cause if you find a phone made in 2008, 30 years in the future, it still works. Plus cell towers still work even when there is no electricity, I didn't know that!
  5. You won't be able to make a GPS tracking device smaller then the size of a small flashlight.

I won't say the movie is bad, you just have to have a high suspension of disbelief level. The story is very similar to Escape from New York, with Road Warrior stylizations thrown in. My advice, wait for the DVD.

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